Strategy
by Vibranium Vibrator
Summary: A game, it was. But strategy is important in any occurrence. Tony cant handle it. A humorous little cracktastic joy ride. No slash, unless you look at it sideways A little bit of swearing.


_I dont even know._

_But I dont regret it in the slightest._

* * *

The entire table was deadly silent.

Each pair of eyes was locked upon the ones across from them, searching to discover who was friend, and who was foe. Who could be trusted and who couldn't.

Everyone was close to victory. Could feel it close to their grasp. But only one could achieve it.  
A firm mask was settled onto each face. Because to show emotion, was to lead to inevitable defeat.

And it was Tony's turn. He looked up from his hand and glanced at the people around him. Loki on his right and Natasha on the left, both wearing impenetrable shells of poker face. His eyes danced over the four cards remaining in his hand, though one of the cards called him more than the others. He knew that he shouldn't. That to play that card would leave his defenses at minimum and allow Loki to conquer.

But he couldn't stop himself. A slight quirk of the lips, a glance at every one at the table, an anxious tap of a finger. He was ready.

"DRAW FOUR MOTHERFUCKER!"

He threw the card down with triumph, shimmying a little as he high fived himself.

The eyes in the room shifted uneasily to Natasha, whose jaw twitched noticeably. Tony was now a foe to the fiery haired agent.

She would show no mercy.

She silently picked up the four cards with a heavy hand that didn't go unnoticed.  
"The color is red." Tony declared, oblivious to the look in Natasha's eye.

Clint exhales a breath. Both because he gets to avoid Natasha's wrath, and because he actually has a red card. His last red card. And to Tony's complete and utter dismay, it was a reverse.

Natasha could _smell _the fear.

"What's the matter, Stark? Can dish it but you can't take it? That isn't acceptable…" She leaned forward with a sort of dark joy lighting her eyes. She slowly dropped a single card from her hand, her smile, remaining the same, became even shadier.

"Draw four. Motherfucker." She called softly.

Tony could see the evil in her eyes. He picked up the cards warily.

Now it was Loki's turn. Everyone was skeptic when the trickster mulled over his cards. He had only two, and that fact alone had all the players on edge. Loki was the hardest to read.

He smirked; glanced beside himself at Thor with a sort of kindly expression no one else had the courtesy of receiving, and returned his gaze to Natasha, silently daring her to call out the wrong color. With an entirely feigned confidence, she announced,

"Yellow."

Loki dropped a card, and as soon as it hit the table, with a cool, unfazed voice he spoke the words no one wanted to hear unless coming from themselves.

"Uno."

He and Thor had learned from countless other times that merely saying 'One' did not count.

Tony felt a little guilty for teaching them that.

The card he played was a simple card, a plain yellow three. It was obvious that since the beginning he was going easy on the Thunder god who sat beside him, but no one took notice.

Because they were all foaming at the mouth to change the color.

Thor indifferently played a nine, and Bruce an ill thought out reverse.  
Everyone stared desperately at Thor, who couldn't leave his friends in such a predicament. But he felt torn that he had to be the one to stop the grinning lie smith.

"I'm sorry, Brother…" Thor, who knew his brother dearest had no red cards, used his saved wild card to call the new color red.

Loki waved it off with a smile. In the heat of battle, no one took notice to the gesture. Loki grabbed the top card and raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Well…!"

He played the new card, and it was another wild. Tony had half a mind to take all the wild cards and hide them from the next game, but that would be the move of a 'bad sport'. Not that Tony cared.

"Uno, again, and the color, is now _green._'

Tony smiled. If they just avoided that color, everything would be _just _fine. He would've told everyone that out loud, but one of the sworn rules of any card game,

_No talking across the table.  
_  
He was forced to pick up until he got a green card, placing it onto the large and steady accumulating pile of played cards.

Natasha understood what needed to be done, and placed a blue six on top of Tony's green one. It was a good a card choice as any, being as though that color hadn't been played more than twice in the entire game. Clint and Steve continued with that color, having to draw a few cards in the process, as well as Bruce and Thor.

This was it.

Loki's face looked frustrated as he beat his hand irritably on the table top. Everyone exhaled their breaths. And Loki's look of frustration morphed into a face that said 'Well, would you look at that!'

He flicked the blue card out of his hand and stood slowly; basking in the affection Thor gave him for his victory.

"Hey, wait a minute! You said green when you chose the color!" Steve accused, having to raise his voice to be heard over Tony's loud groans of defeat and the equally loud sound of his fist hitting the table top in agony.

"Strategy, dear soldier, is key in war."

* * *

I Luffles you all, my babies~~  
3


End file.
